I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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