drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
smell my finger.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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