So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
