I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i would punch a child for taco bell
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
