remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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