I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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