My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
