from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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