we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
