he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
