i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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