he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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