You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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