I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You made out with two different species that night
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize