Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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