piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
