That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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