NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
