don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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