What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
