There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
this hospital has no fireball
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
