Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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