Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
