um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
