somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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