i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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