wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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