we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
