she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
