i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
