Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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