I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
