I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
