I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
