why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
