He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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