tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
