After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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