Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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