i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
