hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
