Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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