She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
