just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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