bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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