i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
