I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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