I've blown a few things in my day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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