I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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