Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
