So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
