since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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