Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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