DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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