well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
