Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
