I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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