What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
