we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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