So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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