he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I didn't notice because vodka
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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